Rain Check

ME

I'm not really up for lunch. I can probably still do it if we eat here instead of going out. We won't have your favorite popovers but there are other places that could deliver. Or we could reschedule if you'd like.

HIM

If you're not feeling great or you want to reschedule-

ME

I just hate canceling after all the trouble we had setting this date. And then if, after all that, you drop dead the next day and I missed my very last chance to have lunch with you ever -I'd feel bad.

HIM

Let's reschedule. Why should I get whatever you have? You have it, you keep it! And yes I could drop dead the next day or next week. I could drop dead tonight.

ME

Well then it wouldn't matter if you caught what I have would it?

HIM

If I drop dead tonight I wouldn't have a chance to catch it at all.

ME

If you drop dead tonight then deciding whether or not we should cancel tomorrow is moot.

HIM

Let's reschedule. And if do I drop dead, just make sure to open the casket and say-

ME

"Here Dad" and toss in a popover?

HIM

(Laughing)

Ok you are now officially in charge of tossing a popover into my grave before they cover me up. Everyone else will toss in a handful of dirt, and you toss in a popover.

ME

Make sure your wife knows this. I don't think she'd approve.

So would you be buried or cremated?

HIM

Buried.

ME

Why?

HIM

Because I don't want to wake up in an oven.

ME

Well I don't want to either but would you rather wake up under the ground? -Ok look, I want to be cremated. So do me a favor and make sure I'm fully dead before anybody puts me in an oven. I don't want to wake up in there either.

Oh and once I'm cremated, I want my ashes mixed with my pets'.

HIM

I hate to ask this but where are they.

ME

Their ashes? On the shelf by my window.

HIM

And what do we do with your ashes then?

ME

I don't care. But I want us all kept together in something plain and silver colored, like a thermos. -And don't scatter me in the ocean, shoot me into space, or cryogenically freeze my head.