Monday, June 30, 2008

Chicken Butt Lamp

This was my view during lunch.

long lamp with a metal chicken at the base, pecking the ground, with its butt up in the air -facing me.


Saturday, June 28, 2008

I Talk To Bugs

My friends find these conversations amusing and have suggested that I record them and sell them on ebay. But really, all I'm ever trying to do is explain to the bugs that I'm not trying to hurt them, and that they should stop running away and making things difficult, because the only thing I'm trying to do is take them to a window so they can go back outside.

Most don't seem to believe me and lead me on a 15 minute (or more) goose bug chase.

Today a little one crawled onto my hand. Then fell onto my desk. Then we I talked as I scooped him into my other hand, which it let me do. Then we very calmly walked to a window and as soon as I put my hand outside it flew away. -I didn't even know it had wings.

It was so easy. I wish all of them were like that.


Friday, June 27, 2008

Victorian Gardens

For a few months during the summer, Wollman Rink, in Central Park, is transformed into the Victorian Gardens,

victorian gardens, taken from above

an amusement park that's fun for the whole family. -As long as the whole family is under five. Seriously. They're all toddler rides! Except for one or two. But that didn't stop us from having a good time. We went on the big slide, played a couple of games,

I won this for my sister in whack-a-mole.
(I love whack-a-mole!)

stuffed green dog with long ears and very long pink tongue

and as we left, my father, sister, and I all got our hands stamped (in case we returned) with this highly technical, impossible to duplicate, artwork.

our three hands stamped with an x

We are the X-Men.


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

World's Smallest Chicken

My sister and I passed a spot in Central Park that looked oddly familiar. It didn't take long to realize it was the very same spot where a Geocache had eluded us a year earlier.

Although I didn't have my GPS with me, we decided to check out the area again and see if we could find it. Of course, without a GPS and the exact coordinates, we only had a general idea of where to look, but it turned out that didn't matter, because about one minute into our search, I noticed a family surrounding a zip-loc bag and a small container. So I made a beeline for them walked calmly over to them and said "DID YOU JUST FIND THE GEOCACHE??!" Yes they did!

They gave me the logbook to sign, "TNLN," (-That's geo-speak for "took nothing, left nothing.") then I asked if they'd swapped out an item for themselves. They had.

Boy holding a miniscule rubber chicken. Barely the size of a penny.

It's a chicken.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Need To Eat More Onions

Or at least eat them more quickly.

onions growing wild in my refrigerator

onions growing wild in my refrigerator

onion that looks like a stork

onions sprout growing through mesh in plastic basket

(Sorry. No "Jesus" onions.)


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dreams About School

One recurring theme in my dreams, is that I'm still in High School, or Boarding School, or Sleepaway Camp. In these dreams, I'm always 18, or, more often, I'm way over 18 years old and have chosen to stay and keep repeating the last year(s). I haven't been left behind. I just decided to keep taking more and more classes there instead of going to college. And in these dreams, it seems that's allowed.

I'm not sure why I choose to do that in these dreams. In the case of boarding school and camp it's because I liked it there. In the case of regular high school, I have no idea why I'd do that! I would NEVER EVER EVER want to go back to High School! Lol! So WHY do I choose to keep repeating those years in these dreams? Mastery maybe? Less pressure? Because I do always think to myself that since (in the dream) I'm at least 10 years past graduating age and credits, I've already done all I need to graduate, so whatever happens really doesn't matter that much. -Oh, and I should point out that the High School in my dreams is not my real life old high school. It's some generic large school with classes, students and teachers that I don't know.

The other recurring theme in these dreams is that, very often, I've missed a lot of classes. So much so that I can't remember which classes are at which day and time. Then, if I figure out what class I have next, I don't remember exactly where the classroom is. -This is often very stressful! Because in the dream I DO want to go to class but I have a hard time figuring out which class I should be going to and where and when the heck it is, even though I really want to attend! -And it's always because I've missed several and have not established a routine with them, which, in the dream, I want to do, but it's difficult when I keep repeating the pattern of missing the class because I can't remember where it meets or where it's held!

Then there's the homework. In these dreams, needless to say, due to missing so much, I'm often super behind in my work and I know that I'm totally unprepared. That adds to the anxiety of trying to attend the class (that I'm probably late for because I didn't know when it met, and then couldn't find, and THEN knew I didn't have the work for!) Usually the representative class I'm most behind in is something with a boring text that requires lots of reading.

Often I tell myself to just STOP, and to intentionally skip the class this time. To use that time instead to do some marathon reading and catch up so that the next time I'll be completely caught up and it won't matter how many classes I missed. I plan to really check my schedule and show up on time and fully caught up for the next class. It seems like a better use of my time to do this instead of dealing with the stress of showing up late and unprepared. (Though part of me always thinks -Who cares if it's late or if there's a test I will 100% fail and can't even fake my way through because I never even opened the book at all! Just GET THERE this time!)

I have these dreams ALL THE TIME. The places change, but the themes are the same. It's very familiar to me and I'm often thinking "Geeze AGAIN???" I can't correlate it to anything in my real life. Certainly nothing identical to it, but not even anything similar or symbolically similar. Not even in the past! Except that sure I might like to be in camp or boarding school, but, er... not as the world's oldest camper! Lol! Maybe if I were that age again, but in these dreams I'm usually not.

Anyway, I'm writing about this because a few months ago I had "one of those dreams" BUT.... I'd done my homework! (I know! Imagine that?) and when I tried to think of what class came next, I had a moment of wondering if I'd be able to remember (because of the other dreams) and then realized I DID know which class was next. I knew where the classes were and I was doing the work in all of them. And... get this... I THINK I was in COLLEGE! (In real life, I've been through college, but never in these darned dreams!)

I still have NO idea what this correlates to in my real life or why I had a different dream a few months ago, but I was SO glad! Lol! I'm hoping this trend continues! I did stop to reflect on this at one point during the dream and explained to myself that this "term" was going better because I had good classes and there weren't any bad ones there or any that I didn't like, and that must be why I was going to all of them and doing the work. -Nice logic, but I still can't correlate that to anything in my real life!

I've had a few more dreams like that since then, and yet another one last night. Once again, I was IN COLLEGE (hurray!!!) and knew the material and where my classroom was. Though I had some trouble getting to it due to

  1. a locked building
  2. a class party
  3. security guards I conned my way past
  4. being taken to the wrong floor a level below that was very very leaky
but eventually I got to class. Except I didn't have any paper or a pen. -That happens in these dreams sometimes too. In class... no paper or pen. At all! Then I try to gather up any bits of scrap paper or napkins or wrappers that I can find and/or I borrow from someone.

At this rate, I figure I might be out of "dream school" by the time I'm 80. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a few doctorates by then.

(Anybody else dreaming about schools or camp?)


Monday, June 16, 2008

I'm On Bossy!

Well sort of... Can you spot me?

Bossy's Collage
Photo Collage from

How many of you got the hint? Yup that's right. This is me :)

Me with a blue dot covering my face -On purpose!

Seriously. That's the picture I submitted of myself for her collage. And I'm right above what appears to be the oh so cute Pete! (aka Fiddley Gomme) -Who by the way, is NOT a girl!

She thinks we're cute! (anybody else hearing Rudolph in their head?)

I'm so proud.

You may bow.

PS: I tried to find another word for "Cute" since it's used THREE TIMES above, so I looked it up in my thesaurus, and one of the words it offered was "Twee." -"Twee???" As in what? "I'm this many?" or "I'm going to go cwimb it now?"
Me!Fiddley GommeI Am Bossy


Sunday, June 15, 2008

At Least My Character Didn't Burst Into Flames: Part 3

Kendra's post about her Sims experience reminded me of some problems I once had with a computer game.

Several years ago, I bought a Star Trek game because it had a virtual reality "walk through" of the starship Voyager as an included "extra." I loved Voyager so I bought the game for a few dollars on Ebay. The VR wasn't really true to Voyager but it didn't cost me that much so I decided to try it out. I had a few problems. [Part 1 of the story is here. -And you really need to read that before reading today's post or you'll have NO idea what I'm talking about.]
Remember when my feet got stuck in the floor? I never told you what happened immediately after my molecular mishap.

Once I was able to walk again, I answered the door for my stalker 7 of 9, and she greeted me, gave me some instructions (the same instructions she gave me before Groundhog Day the game file got corrupted.) and I thought all my problems were solved. So imagine my shock (and slight horror) when I opened my mouth to reply and heard a very manly voice come out of my character's mouth!

I had very specifically told the game that I wanted to be FEMALE and, up until the game crashed, I had been female! So needless to say, the testosterone laden voice that came out of me was more than a little unnerving.

When a second character approached I was still a bit shaken up by my unexpected sex change but, to my relief, I found that when I opened my mouth to talk to her I was once again speaking in a female voice. "Good!" I thought. "Temporary glitch. Problem solved. Obviously there's still something wrong with the '7 of 9' file but other than that, everything else seems to be ok."

I turned around to re-enter my room and was reassured by my character's name -A female name- written clearly on the door to my quarters. Once inside my quarters, I picked up a photo of "me" and Worf, and there we were... Worf and me (female!) Then I walked into the bathroom, caught my reflection in the mirror and "OH MY GOD I'M A GUY!!!" And not just any guy, but a big guy!

Do you know how FREAKY that is???? I nearly jumped out of my skin! I thought there was a pervert in my bathroom! -Until I realized the pervert was me!

I immediately quit and restarted the game, and told the option screen that I was FEMALE. (-And I clicked the button several times to make sure it understood! "FEMALE, FEMALE, FEMALE!") Then I picked up the game where I left off, and there I was, once again, with everything in my quarters saying I was a female. My name on the door, my picture with Worf... ran into the bathroom and hello? -STILL a GUY!

I figured ok, what the heck. I'll just walk around now as a guy. (A guy who sometimes photographs like a girl and has a girl's name!) No big deal right? But I couldn't get used to it. This deep voice kept coming out of me at random moments and scaring the crap out of me, and some of my belongings were male while others were female, and I was terrified to look at a reflection of myself because I never knew what I was going to see... It was all just too weird!

Eventually I gave up trying to continue with the corrupted game file, trashed the whole thing, and reinstalled the entire program from scratch. -Yeah I know, most of you would have done that as soon as your feet got embedded in the floor, but no, it took a character with a gender identity crisis to get me to do a full re-start.


Friday, June 13, 2008

Fairway Flashback

If you weren't reading my blog back in December, you should click through the links to get the back story on this. If you were reading here in December, you might want to click through again anyway just to refresh your memory.
This morning I was supposed to go to Fairway with my friend. I got up, got dressed, and waited... nothing. We had to move her car before the street cleaners came (the whole point is to go grocery shopping during street cleaning hours and be back in time for another parking space), so I called her. No answer. I left a message, waited a few more minutes, then called her other phone. Nothing. Waited a bit more. Walked to her apartment and knocked on the door a few times -while telling the dog in the apartment across the way to calm down and stop barking at me. No answer.

So I went back to my apartment, took off my hat, sunglasses, and bag, and was debating going back to bed when my cell phone rang. It was my friend. She'd overslept. Could I please get the car while she threw on some clothes. Sure. -Except now I couldn't find my keys. The keys I'd JUST used to get into the apartment? By the time I found my keys, which was not too long (they were in my bag), she was at my door with the keys to her car (we're in the same building.)

I walked to her car and the entire street was empty -except for her car. I could already tell by the looks of every single person who walked past and stared at her windshield, that there was a bright orange parking ticket waiting there. Luckily, she'd been spared the neon green sticker.

Everyone stared as I approached the car, took the ticket off the windshield, opened the door, and got in. Not just the passersby but an entire line of teachers and school children who were waiting right next to it for instructions or a head count or "something" before they could proceed to wherever it was they were going. I was very tempted to tell every single person in line that "This is not my car. It's not my car. This car? It's not mine. Even though I'm getting in it and I have the keys and it looks like this is my car, it's not my car. I didn't get a $50 ticket for being 10 minutes late. I've been up for an hour!" -Like they'd care!?

My friend was ready about 10 minutes later, and we went to Fairway. They hadn't re-arranged it since the last time I wrote about it, so everything was still in the same place it was before. The cold room was still cold (awesome) and the tampons were still in the pasta section (???).

As we left the store I glanced towards the construction they're doing by the edge of the river. They're building a park with tables and benches and I think some kind of cafe. My friend told me I'm not allowed to look because I think it's a dumb idea. She thinks it's going to be beautiful and can't wait to sit by the water sipping cappuccinos. I think it's going to be beautiful and a great place to dump bodies.

When we got back, we found a parking space, and "Art" was there. Except now I can't remember his real name. I keep wanting to call him "Art," but that would be wrong. I almost mentioned this to my friend but decided not to. The last time I made fun of her she got a little insecure.
If you write about me on your blog, I'm going to log in and leave a comment that says "Your friend sounds highly intelligent. And very attractive."

And I will say "Yes, she is. And she's available."

Oh. Ok. You can write about me then.


Thursday, June 12, 2008

My Remains

My friend and I once had a very long series of emails discussing what should be done with my remains (Don't ask. -Ok short version, I was very sick, needed surgery, thought I was going to die.) Among other things, I told her that I wanted to be cremated, I wanted my ashes mixed with my pets' ashes, and I wanted all of us to be put into something plain, simple, and silver colored-ish. Like a thermos.

From our emails


Ultimately, I'm not sure if it'd be better to be buried in the container, or buried loose, or scattered. I don't want to be scattered over an ocean though. That would separate all of us [my ashes from my pets' ashes.] And I don't want to be dropped in there as a container either so we wash up on a beach as someone's found treasure. Maybe if we made good fertilizer...maybe a garden. My ferrets would like that. But I don't want to get raked away the next year! -Oh and I don't want to be sent into space. Don't shoot us into space! As cool as that might be in theory, I'm afraid someone would find us or that somehow our molecules would go through a black hole and be re-integrated, and we'd come back as some kind of deformed, very unhappy, multi-headed human/ferret hybrid. And no cryogenics. For one thing, I wouldn't be able to be with my pets then.

(You're saving this email right?)

_I_ want to be shot out into space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, first any of my useful bits can be used for science or donated or whatever.

Does your husband know? If I have the money I'll shoot you into space!

It's kind of cheap actually. Well, if you let the Russians do it that is. They cremate you and seal you in a little capsule thing and launch you with any trash they purge from the space station. Kind of an odd concept but hey, it's space!

There is also a Japanese group that launches ashes for a bit more. They do it for about $5000 (about the cost of the typical funeral). It is very respectful and all that. They showed it on tv the other day.

I'm making a note in my PDA... "Shoot J into space with Russian Garbage."

Re: The Cryogenics: What if we just preserve your head and pack your ferrets and the rest of your ashes in the container with it for the future to fix?

Tempting, but no, I don't think so. I don't trust people in the future not to screw up. Besides, you'll be out in space. Who will I talk to when I'm reanimated? ;)

I still think we should freeze your head.

If I wake up as a head sometime in the future, I am going to grab a vacuum, go into space, and suck your ashes back down here! :P


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Conversation With LL

Conversation between me
and my 102 year old neighbor


How is it that you still have so much dark hair?

What do you mean?

You're 102 years old and you're barely 50% gray.

On half of my head?

No, not on half of your head. Throughout.



What color is the rest?


I didn't know I still had black hair. Is it pretty?

Of course.



If I could still see, I'd go out for walks, I'd cook... I cooked all the time. I am an excellent cook.

And then you taught your daughter.

My daughter can't cook.

Your daughter's a great cook!

Ok, she can cook, but not like me. She has her recipes, I have mine.

Speaking of cooking, are you sure you don't want anything to eat?

I'm not hungry. I ate a big breakfast.

What did you eat.

Potatoes and bread.

Potatoes and bread. That's it?

Yes it was very filling. And coffee with milk and sugar.

But that's it? What about protein.

What do I need protein for?

So you can grow big and strong.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Evil Queen In My Air Conditoner

Wicked Queen from Snow WhiteI thought I'd tell you about that "Evil Queen from Snow White living in my air conditioner" dream that I mentioned the other day. -When? Here. Weren't you paying attention? ;)

My father used to read to me before I went to bed. For a while, when I was around 4 or 5 years old, the book of choice was "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." It was a large book with pictures from the Disney movie. Even though I hadn't seen the movie, the pictures in the book were enough to give me nightmares. (Thank you Disney.)

One night, I had a nightmare that the Evil Queen was in my air conditioner. She was speaking in that evil way that evil people do, and was saying something very scary. Probably something highly original like "I'm going to get you!" -Really, it didn't matter what she was saying because, in this dream, the voice of the Evil Queen coming out of my air conditioner when I was alone in the dark in my room was scary enough! She could have been singing the alphabet for all I cared and I still would have jumped out of my skin! (Wouldn't you, if the Evil Queen was singing the alphabet in your air conditioner?!)

So in this dream, I would run next door to my parents' room for help, and in the dream, my parents would come into my room, and of course, the second they did, the air conditioner would stopped talking. So, just as they would have in real life, my parents would tell me there was no Evil Queen in my air conditioner and tell me to go back to bed. And then, as often happens in dreams, the moment they left, the Evil Queen would start talking in my air conditioner again.

The dream continued like this for a while. Every time I was alone in my room, the Evil Queen would start talking from my air conditioner, and every time I ran to get my parents, she'd stop talking and they'd tell me to go back to bed.

Eventually, I woke up. And I was terrified. Really truly terrified. But I did not get up to tell my parents. For one thing, the Evil Queen was not talking in my air conditioner at that moment (because I was awake!) but even if she had, I already knew from the dream that there was no point in getting my parents, because as soon as they came into the room she'd stop talking and they wouldn't believe me. So I never told my parents about the dream. But every single night from then on, I was afraid to face that wall, and I slept with my back to that air conditioner for almost my entire time in that room -which was well into my teens! And that is why one side of my head is flatter than the other. (No, I'm just kidding about the head part. But the rest of the story is true.)


Monday, June 9, 2008

More On The Template And Label/Tag Cloud

I have trouble figuring out what kind of look I ultimately want for this blog. I know I haven't found it yet. For the past few weeks I've been very tempted to switch to the "minima-white" template with no added anything!

I know how to make a template and I can make them for other people sometimes, but it's harder for myself. When I look at pre-made templates, the ones I'm most drawn to are the dark ones or the more "mysterious" looking themes. Themes that would probably go well with some kind of pirate or fantasy or victorian or even a haunted house site. In other words, themes that would be totally wrong for this blog! This is not a dark or mysterious themed blog. At least it's not meant to be! So then I go in the other direction and I feel like the templates I see or come up with almost too cheerful.

It's a very weird and frustrating contrast: what I'm drawn to visually these days vs what I'm writing about here. For this site, I'd like a template that's a little more cheerful than "neutral," possibly quirky, but not obnoxiously happy. This isn't quiet those either but it's closer than my previous one(s). I'm certain the template I have now will not be the last you'll see. But for now, I like it more than the previous ones.

Label Cloud

A couple of people asked about the label cloud I used for my categories. -That's what it's called. A "Label Cloud" or a "Tag Cloud." I'm glad some of you like it because I was undecided about using it. I'm still toying with the idea of using a collapsable list instead.

The "cloud" shows each label/tag/category in a different size and color based on how many posts are assigned to it. In my cloud, labels with the fewest posts are small and in blue, and labels with the most posts are large and in yellow. All other labels have colors and sizes in between according to their post count. -This is handled automatically by the script, which can be found at phydeaux3's website.

The instructions are pretty straight forward. I changed a few things on mine like the colors, the spacing, and the font. The default font that I set, for those who have it (which according to Code is about 70% of you) is Papyrus. For computers that don't have Papyrus, the font will display as Arial, and for the two or three computers in the world that don't have Arial, it'll show whatever sans serif font they do have (which is all those other fonts that look almost exactly like Arial but aren't.)

Thank you for the feedback on the new template so far. Keep it coming! If there's something you don't like about it, let me know that too!
Now's the time to say something before you're stuck reading it like this FOR EVER (or until I get around to re-doing this yet again ;) )


Saturday, June 7, 2008

New Template

I can't figure out what the heck kind of template I want for this site. I'm still having an identity crisis. Let me know if anything isn't working properly. Back to tweaking!

(For those of you whose thoughts went "there" -Get your minds out of the gutter! ;) )


Sunday, June 1, 2008


I'm supposed to meet a friend at Mars 2112 in an hour and a half, and I'm trying to figure out what to wear, and because it's so hot, I've decided that the perfect thing to wear would be NOTHING. But since I don't want my next meal to be in prison, I'll continue to look for something -Just as soon as I finish procrastinating writing in this blog.

Everything I own seems to have gotten a little bit tighter this week, and I can't imagine why. It can't possibly have anything to do with all the crap I've been eating. (And we all know I'm not carrying the Messiah!)

I feel a summer shopping trip coming on. I do not enjoy shopping. I can never find anything in my size. "My size" being something that fits and makes me look 20 pounds lighter. I'd shop on Mars, but all their residents have extra appendages.