Sunday, December 2, 2007

A Guy Named Art (Or Not)

When we last left off, I had just returned from shopping with my friend and the two of us were taking turns sitting in her car while the other ran their groceries up to their apartment.

I brought my groceries up first and returned to find my friend deep in conversation with a gentleman she'd told me about before. A really nice guy who talks a lot. And by a lot I mean more than me. I like people like this. They make me feel normal.

I smiled and said hello to him and he immediately asked "Who's this? I know she's not one of your kids!" My friend then made it a point to let him know that not only was I not one of her kids (She and I are about 5 years apart in age) but my Aunt had just called me old the other day. (Which she did. Not just once but twice during my visit. Which my friend says I should blog about because she thinks it's hysterically funny but that gets into the realm of talking about my family online which I'm going to try really hard not to do here. But for the record, I am NOT old!)

So then my friend introduced us, and the conversation went something like this:

HER
This is my friend Melissa. Melissa this is Art.

HIM
Larry.

HER
Right. This is Larry.

I just about lost it right there! Then she gave me the car keys and I popped the trunk so she could get her groceries. I thought Larry might decide to start talking to me instead, but no, he followed her. Our conversation continued:

ME
Hey do you want to use your "earth friendly shopping bag" to carry up all your plastic grocery bags?

HER
Yeah, throw me that.

ME
What about this.... what the heck is this?

HER
Oh that metal bar?

ME
Yeah.

HER
I somehow grabbed that when I grabbed my umbrella this morning. I didn't realize I'd grabbed both.

ME
Okaaaay....

She took the last of her grocery bags out of the car then proceeded to walk down the street with Larry following after her, asking her how old her car was (5 years) and how many miles it had on it (didn't hear the answer) and how with tractors they don't measure miles but how many hours it's been driven instead... (I never knew that. Larry is a font of information.)

When my friend came back down for the final time I handed her her purse, her umbrella and her weapon metal rod. Then I made fun of her for forgetting her good friend Larry's name.

HER
I didn't forget his name. Why? What did I say his name was?

ME
You said his name was ART. How the heck do you mix up ART with LARRY?

HER
I didn't say his name was Art.

ME
Yes you did!

HER
No, I don't think I said that. I think I was thinking and said "His name is arrrrrrrrr....."

ME
"Arrrrrr?" What is he a pirate?

HER
No, I was thinking out loud and saying arrrrrrrrrr....

ME
Who the heck says "arrrrrr" while they're thinking out loud? -This is somehow better than you calling him Art? This is so going in my blog!

HER
Great. So we go shopping and you get food and material for your blog, and what did I get?

ME
You got milk.

HER
I got milk.

ON THE PHONE -- LATER

ME
I'm working on my blog post.

HER
Oh good, because I think I figured out what I was trying to say.

ME
Uh huh.

HER
I think I was going to say "-This is OUR neighbor..." Get it? OURRRRRRR?

ME
No you weren't.

HER
Yes I was.

ME
Fine.

... Nice save ;)

 

7 Comments:

Jenn (http://freeandflawed.wordpress.com) said...

I love the Hiro badge :D Heroes is one of my favorite shows!

Hillary said...

"And by a lot I mean more than me. I like people like this. They make me feel normal."

You are my hero! That's the way I feel about people like that ALL. THE. TIME!!!

Also? Nice backpeddaling by your friend! *I* think she's really a pirate! ;)

storyteller said...

... and so it goes :)
Very entertaining saga ... I can hardly wait for the next installment.
Hugs and blessings,

Claire B. said...

Thanks for stopping by my place, and I'm going to enjoy catching up on your posts!

I *heart* NY!

Melissa said...

Jenn, and Claire b: Thank you for stopping by!

Hillary: The part you quoted -it's totally true! Lol! And it cracks me up that you think the same way! :D

Storyteller: Sorry, no more to this specific "snippet of life!" Lol! I DID call my friend and tell her you were expecting a next installment and she said you'll have to wait until the next time we attempt to go shopping ;)

I should also state for the record (since she was feeling a little bit picked on!) that

MY FRIEND IS HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, VERY ATTRACTIVE, AND AVAILABLE! :)

Cammy said...

Someone who talks more than YOU?!?!?!?

Melissa said...

I would be happy to introduce you :D