A Guy Named Art (Or Not)

When we last left off, I had just returned from shopping with my friend and the two of us were taking turns sitting in her car while the other ran their groceries up to their apartment.

I brought my groceries up first and returned to find my friend deep in conversation with a gentleman she'd told me about before. A really nice guy who talks a lot. And by a lot I mean more than me. I like people like this. They make me feel normal.

I smiled and said hello to him and he immediately asked "Who's this? I know she's not one of your kids!" My friend then made it a point to let him know that not only was I not one of her kids (She and I are about 5 years apart in age) but my Aunt had just called me old the other day. (Which she did. Not just once but twice during my visit. Which my friend says I should blog about because she thinks it's hysterically funny but that gets into the realm of talking about my family online which I'm going to try really hard not to do here. But for the record, I am NOT old!)

So then my friend introduced us, and the conversation went something like this:

HER

This is my friend Melissa. Melissa this is Art.

HIM

Larry.

HER

Right. This is Larry.

I just about lost it right there! Then she gave me the car keys and I popped the trunk so she could get her groceries. I thought Larry might decide to start talking to me instead, but no, he followed her. Our conversation continued:

ME

Hey do you want to use your "earth friendly shopping bag" to carry up all your plastic grocery bags?

HER

Yeah, throw me that.

ME

What about this.... what the heck is this?

HER

Oh that metal bar?

ME

Yeah.

HER

I somehow grabbed that when I grabbed my umbrella this morning. I didn't realize I'd grabbed both.

ME

Okaaaay....

She took the last of her grocery bags out of the car then proceeded to walk down the street with Larry following after her, asking her how old her car was (5 years) and how many miles it had on it (didn't hear the answer) and how with tractors they don't measure miles but how many hours it's been driven instead... (I never knew that. Larry is a font of information.)

When my friend came back down for the final time I handed her her purse, her umbrella and her weapon metal rod. Then I made fun of her for forgetting her good friend Larry's name.

HER

I didn't forget his name. Why? What did I say his name was?

ME

You said his name was ART. How the heck do you mix up ART with LARRY?

HER

I didn't say his name was Art.

ME

Yes you did!

HER

No, I don't think I said that. I think I was thinking and said "His name is arrrrrrrrr....."

ME

"Arrrrrr?" What is he a pirate?

HER

No, I was thinking out loud and saying arrrrrrrrrr....

ME

Who the heck says "arrrrrr" while they're thinking out loud? -This is somehow better than you calling him Art? This is so going in my blog!

HER

Great. So we go shopping and you get food and material for your blog, and what did I get?

ME

You got milk.

HER

I got milk.

ON THE PHONE -- LATER

ME

I'm working on my blog post.

HER

Oh good, because I think I figured out what I was trying to say.

ME

Uh huh.

HER

I think I was going to say "-This is OUR neighbor..." Get it? OURRRRRRR?

ME

No you weren't.

HER

Yes I was.

ME

Fine.

... Nice save ;)