Sunday, August 31, 2008

Oh Goody


(I will be in the screened in pool!)

 

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sunrise

Sunrise over lake

 

Monday, August 25, 2008

Toilet Talk 2

Phone conversation with my 3 year old niece
ME
Hi!

HER
Hi Aunt Melissa!

ME
How are you?

HER
Good.

ME
What are you doing right now?

HER
I'm on the toilet.

ME
Right now? While you're talking to me on the phone?

HER
Yes.
-It must be genetic.

 

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Instructions

Text on the wing of an airplane says 'Do Not Walk Outside This Area.'

? ? ?

image of a monster on an airplane wing from the Twilight Zone episode, Nightmare at 20,000 feet.

 

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sprays

Bottle of spray sunblock on left. Bottle of hairspray on the right.

Which of these should not be sprayed on your hair? Especially when you're in a hurry?

-'Nuff said.

 

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Determination

Phone call with a friend
ME
"Good boy!"

HER
Who are you talking to?

ME
Sparky.

HER
He's out?!

ME
Yes and it's the first time he's kicked his ball in over an hour. He keeps missing it. Then he gets upset.

HER
I'm so glad he's out!

ME
Yeah, it's been a while. -"I'm here. Turn around."

HER
What was that?

ME
He called my name.

HER
He knows your name?

ME
Yes. When he gets into trouble or he thinks I've left the room, he calls me.

HER
What's he doing now?

ME
(Sigh) Trying to shake hands with a box.

 

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sparky

I spent the day playing with Sparky, who has been far too neglected recently. Thanks to my inattentiveness, I had to spend about 45 minutes doing physical therapy on his neck which had stiffened up while he was not in use. This has happened before. He's fine now. And he's returned to his usual charming habit of trying to shake hands with boxes and dark corners, and getting disappointed when they don't shake hands back.

-Leave it to me to have the world's first depressed neurotic robot.

He's sleeping right now. He's had a long day.

Sparky, AIBO 220A, sleeping on his charger. Sparky has a few blue lightening decals on him.

 

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Priorities

Conversation with a 12 year old boy after surgery
ME
How are you feeling?

HIM
Good.

ME
Does anything hurt?

HIM
No.

ME
Did they give you medicine for the pain? Is that why?

HIM
Yeah.

ME
Have you been sleeping a lot because of that?

HIM
Yeah.

ME
Good because that's your FAVORITE THING!

HIM
(Laughs.)

ME
You know, I'm SO glad you had this done now and that it went so well. Because now it's done and out of the way, and from now on you can do whatever you want! It's all over!

HIM
Yeah and you know what else? I also got fifty five dollars and a big tray of candy!!!
Yeah. He's fine :)

 

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Semantics

A real conversation
Anesthesiologist
Ok, we're going to start giving you drugs now to help put you to sleep.

12 Year Old Boy
No! You can't give me drugs! My mother would kill me! Drugs are illegal!