Friday, July 18, 2008

Toilet Talk

I have a family member who has a phone installed in their bathroom. I'm not talking about a cordless phone that they bring into the bathroom from time to time. I'm talking about a corded phone that they installed right there, next to the toilet, screwed into the wall. -Wires running to it and everything.

I think this gives me carte blanche to talk to them while I'm in the bathroom without feeling any shame or guilt whatsoever. I'm supposed to be worried about talking in the bathroom to the person who has a phone installed in theirs?

I'm quite clear about this too. I tell them "I'm about to go to the bathroom while we're talking and I'm not the least bit embarrassed because you have a phone installed in yours!"

There's only one other person I'll do this with, and that's a friend who once had a vomiting extravaganza while we were on the phone together. And let me tell you, hearing somebody vomit into a toilet, over the phone, is far worse than any other bathroom sounds one might hear. She was sick, she was stressed, and she brought me (via phone) into the bathroom with her while she threw up, and I continued to listen to her, and talk to her for over an hour, all the while trying to ascertain whether or not she'd passed out yet and a call to 911 or a family member was in order.

As a result, I also have absolutely no problem saying to her "I'm going into the bathroom right now, and you're coming with me, and don't even start with me because you once spent over an hour puking on the phone with me!"

Everybody else in the world, is safe. ...Except companies that put me on hold for long periods of time. There has been a time or two when I had to cover the speaker, flush the toilet, and run out of the bathroom before they could hear.

BUT everybody ELSE in the world is safe from conversations with me in the bathroom. Really!

No really!




Abbie said...

I imagine that this friend of your's home is a gazillion sq feet that simply taking a cordless phone to the bathroom (when needed, if there's any such think as a need to talk on the phone while...)would be completely useless. lol

storyteller said...

A friend of mine once rented an apartment in the 1980s that had a ‘hard-wired phone’ in the bathroom (when cordless and cell phones weren’t an option) and I always found it odd.
Hugs and blessings,

Grandy said...

Whew...good to know. You can pee on the phone with me. ;)

Alice said...

haha... i have one friend where we have the all-clear to bathroom chat as well. i'm not saying i haven't DONE it to other people, though... judicious use of the mute button = a good thing ;-)

Vanessa said...

Like Abbie, I'm imagining the house to be a mansion with no hope of finding a cordless phone in time should it ring, so they installed a corded phone instead.

mysecondjournal said...

My mom sits in the bathroom and talks on the phone..she's sitting there in case she has to go. Dad calls it her office..but their are in their 80s...

Melissa said...

Abbie and Vanessa: Sadly, no. It isn't due to the VASTNESS of the house. They designed their home from the ground up and this was one of those things they decided it HAD to have.

storyteller: Really? I wonder if they were related to my family?

Grandy: Gee thanks. I think I've put you in enough awkward situations to last you for a lifetime! ;)

Alice: Lol. Unfortunately my phone doesn't have mute. -Can you believe that? Hence the "covering and running" technique!

MP: Yup, the office. Aka "the only room in the house where you can get any privacy once you have kids" (if you're lucky!)