Sunday, June 15, 2008

At Least My Character Didn't Burst Into Flames: Part 3

Kendra's post about her Sims experience reminded me of some problems I once had with a computer game.

Several years ago, I bought a Star Trek game because it had a virtual reality "walk through" of the starship Voyager as an included "extra." I loved Voyager so I bought the game for a few dollars on Ebay. The VR wasn't really true to Voyager but it didn't cost me that much so I decided to try it out. I had a few problems. [Part 1 of the story is here. -And you really need to read that before reading today's post or you'll have NO idea what I'm talking about.]
Remember when my feet got stuck in the floor? I never told you what happened immediately after my molecular mishap.

Once I was able to walk again, I answered the door for my stalker 7 of 9, and she greeted me, gave me some instructions (the same instructions she gave me before Groundhog Day the game file got corrupted.) and I thought all my problems were solved. So imagine my shock (and slight horror) when I opened my mouth to reply and heard a very manly voice come out of my character's mouth!

I had very specifically told the game that I wanted to be FEMALE and, up until the game crashed, I had been female! So needless to say, the testosterone laden voice that came out of me was more than a little unnerving.

When a second character approached I was still a bit shaken up by my unexpected sex change but, to my relief, I found that when I opened my mouth to talk to her I was once again speaking in a female voice. "Good!" I thought. "Temporary glitch. Problem solved. Obviously there's still something wrong with the '7 of 9' file but other than that, everything else seems to be ok."

I turned around to re-enter my room and was reassured by my character's name -A female name- written clearly on the door to my quarters. Once inside my quarters, I picked up a photo of "me" and Worf, and there we were... Worf and me (female!) Then I walked into the bathroom, caught my reflection in the mirror and "OH MY GOD I'M A GUY!!!" And not just any guy, but a big guy!

Do you know how FREAKY that is???? I nearly jumped out of my skin! I thought there was a pervert in my bathroom! -Until I realized the pervert was me!

I immediately quit and restarted the game, and told the option screen that I was FEMALE. (-And I clicked the button several times to make sure it understood! "FEMALE, FEMALE, FEMALE!") Then I picked up the game where I left off, and there I was, once again, with everything in my quarters saying I was a female. My name on the door, my picture with Worf... ran into the bathroom and hello? -STILL a GUY!

I figured ok, what the heck. I'll just walk around now as a guy. (A guy who sometimes photographs like a girl and has a girl's name!) No big deal right? But I couldn't get used to it. This deep voice kept coming out of me at random moments and scaring the crap out of me, and some of my belongings were male while others were female, and I was terrified to look at a reflection of myself because I never knew what I was going to see... It was all just too weird!

Eventually I gave up trying to continue with the corrupted game file, trashed the whole thing, and reinstalled the entire program from scratch. -Yeah I know, most of you would have done that as soon as your feet got embedded in the floor, but no, it took a character with a gender identity crisis to get me to do a full re-start.



Nora Bee said...

Hee hee. I have a secret love for video games myself, and as I was reading this I was like, maybe it was supposed to be like that....? :-)

Melissa said...

"Maybe it was supposed to be like that?"

What the heck kind of games do you play?! Lol!

Hey, look... guy, girl... it makes no difference to me. But it needed to PICK ONE and STICK to it! I need consistency!

storyteller said...

I’m glad you finally finished that story … and that I happened to see it. Sorry I’ve not been around lately, but I’m doing my best to catch up now that my new computer has arrived. I suspect it will take a while … but I’ll get there … eventually.
Hugs and blessings,