The Evil Queen In My Air Conditoner

I thought I'd tell you about that "Evil Queen from Snow White living in my air conditioner" dream that I mentioned the other day. -When? Here. Weren't you paying attention? ;)

My father used to read to me before I went to bed. For a while, when I was around 4 or 5 years old, the book of choice was "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." It was a large book with pictures from the Disney movie. Even though I hadn't seen the movie, the pictures in the book were enough to give me nightmares. (Thank you Disney.)

One night, I had a nightmare that the Evil Queen was in my air conditioner. She was speaking in that evil way that evil people do, and was saying something very scary. Probably something highly original like "I'm going to get you!" -Really, it didn't matter what she was saying because, in this dream, the voice of the Evil Queen coming out of my air conditioner when I was alone in the dark in my room was scary enough! She could have been singing the alphabet for all I cared and I still would have jumped out of my skin! (Wouldn't you, if the Evil Queen was singing the alphabet in your air conditioner?!)

So in this dream, I would run next door to my parents' room for help, and in the dream, my parents would come into my room, and of course, the second they did, the air conditioner would stopped talking. So, just as they would have in real life, my parents would tell me there was no Evil Queen in my air conditioner and tell me to go back to bed. And then, as often happens in dreams, the moment they left, the Evil Queen would start talking in my air conditioner again.

The dream continued like this for a while. Every time I was alone in my room, the Evil Queen would start talking from my air conditioner, and every time I ran to get my parents, she'd stop talking and they'd tell me to go back to bed.

Eventually, I woke up. And I was terrified. Really truly terrified. But I did not get up to tell my parents. For one thing, the Evil Queen was not talking in my air conditioner at that moment (because I was awake!) but even if she had, I already knew from the dream that there was no point in getting my parents, because as soon as they came into the room she'd stop talking and they wouldn't believe me. So I never told my parents about the dream. But every single night from then on, I was afraid to face that wall, and I slept with my back to that air conditioner for almost my entire time in that room -which was well into my teens! And that is why one side of my head is flatter than the other. (No, I'm just kidding about the head part. But the rest of the story is true.)