Halloween At The ER

Years ago, I worked in the Emergency Room as an EMT. I have fond memories of Halloween shifts in the ER... Memories of handing patients off to the resident Mad Scientist (Surgeon)... Telling people looking for Xray to "Follow that Ninja." (Yeah I know... I would have thought skeletons too. But no. The X-Ray Technicians were Ninjas. -No this isn't another one of my dreams! ;) )

One of the more interesting parts of Halloween was the variety of costumes and fake injuries that came through the door. Severed heads? Yeah, like we'd fall for that! Scars, deformities, amputations, arrows through heads... With all the layers of costumes, mummy bandages, fake blood, and zombie-wear, it was never immediately apparent what the real injury was. Which is why when a man came in, wearing jeans, a white t-shirt spattered with blood, and 4 scars running straight down the front of his face, I casually took him aside and said,

ME

Hi.

HIM

Hi.

ME

Happy Halloween.

HIM

Thanks.

ME

What are you in for?

HIM

I got into a fight at a bar.

ME

What happened?

HIM

This.

(Gesturing to the 4 scars running down his face.)

ME

Wait, those are real? I thought that was part of your costume.

HIM

I'm not wearing a costume. I took it off after the fight.

ME

So none of this is fake? The blood on your shirt, is that real too?

HIM

Yup. All mine.

ME

Ok. Hold on.

(As I gestured to Raggedy Ann a nurse.)

ME (CONT.)

So what happen?

HIM

There was a Halloween costume contest at the bar where I hang out. And I won first place.

ME

And...?

HIM

And... You know Freddy Krueger? From Nightmare On Elm Street?

ME

Yes.

HIM

Well... he wasn't so happy I won.