Don't You Hate It When...

You see a big round bug.
Which you carefully scoop into a little paper cup,
then cover the cup with another paper cup,
then quickly and carefully run walk to the nearest door,
somehow miraculously open said door,
then open the cup so you can shake it outside,

...and the cup is empty.

Say What?

Invasion

This was the weirdest thing. And yes, there was a river nearby but hello? Lost much? (Not like I didn't look weird running after all of them with my camera! Nooooo. Not me!)

Oh Goody

(I will be in the screened in pool!)

Just Visiting

What's better than a kitten that fits in the palm of your hand?

TWO kittens that fit in the palm of your hand!
(That's one hand!)

My friend is bottle feeding these two for a shelter near her and since they have to be fed every two hours she brought them with her when she came to visit.

Just to give you a sense of scale:

Yes, that's me.

I hope these two are ok. I poked and prodded them a little -as I do when anyone hands me an animal or a baby- (I check them all over. Ears, toes, tummy, everything.) and as often happens when I look over an animal, I found a few issues which will hopefully be addressed by a vet today.

They're soooo tiny.

This one only opened its eyes 2 days ago:

I know... it looks like a drowned rat. That's partially my fault. They were pooping on each other's heads so I decided a bath was in order.

A few more pictures:

My thumb moved during this picture (you can see the blur.)
He doesn't really have a flat head!

Anybody want a kitten?

I Talk To Bugs

My friends find these conversations amusing and have suggested that I record them and sell them on ebay. But really, all I'm ever trying to do is explain to the bugs that I'm not trying to hurt them, and that they should stop running away and making things difficult, because the only thing I'm trying to do is take them to a window so they can go back outside.

Most don't seem to believe me and lead me on a 15 minute (or more) goose bug chase.

Today a little one crawled onto my hand. Then fell onto my desk. Then we I talked as I scooped him into my other hand, which it let me do. Then we very calmly walked to a window and as soon as I put my hand outside it flew away. -I didn't even know it had wings.

It was so easy. I wish all of them were like that.

My Remains

My friend and I once had a very long series of emails discussing what should be done with my remains (Don't ask. -Ok short version, I was very sick, needed surgery, thought I was going to die.) Among other things, I told her that I wanted to be cremated, I wanted my ashes mixed with my pets' ashes, and I wanted all of us to be put into something plain, simple, and silver colored-ish. Like a thermos.

From our emails

ME

Ultimately, I'm not sure if it'd be better to be buried in the container, or buried loose, or scattered. I don't want to be scattered over an ocean though. That would separate all of us [my ashes from my pets' ashes.] And I don't want to be dropped in there as a container either so we wash up on a beach as someone's found treasure. Maybe if we made good fertilizer...maybe a garden. My ferrets would like that. But I don't want to get raked away the next year! -Oh and I don't want to be sent into space. Don't shoot us into space! As cool as that might be in theory, I'm afraid someone would find us or that somehow our molecules would go through a black hole and be re-integrated, and we'd come back as some kind of deformed, very unhappy, multi-headed human/ferret hybrid. And no cryogenics. For one thing, I wouldn't be able to be with my pets then.

(You're saving this email right?)

J

_I_ want to be shot out into space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, first any of my useful bits can be used for science or donated or whatever.

ME

Does your husband know? If I have the money I'll shoot you into space!

J

It's kind of cheap actually. Well, if you let the Russians do it that is. They cremate you and seal you in a little capsule thing and launch you with any trash they purge from the space station. Kind of an odd concept but hey, it's space!

There is also a Japanese group that launches ashes for a bit more. They do it for about $5000 (about the cost of the typical funeral). It is very respectful and all that. They showed it on tv the other day.

ME

I'm making a note in my PDA... "Shoot J into space with Russian Garbage."

J

Re: The Cryogenics: What if we just preserve your head and pack your ferrets and the rest of your ashes in the container with it for the future to fix?

ME

Tempting, but no, I don't think so. I don't trust people in the future not to screw up. Besides, you'll be out in space. Who will I talk to when I'm reanimated? ;)

J

I still think we should freeze your head.

ME

If I wake up as a head sometime in the future, I am going to grab a vacuum, go into space, and suck your ashes back down here! :P

Pesto In A Tube

The last time I saw something like this, a trip to the vet was in order.

I Am Thankful For Air Conditioning

Right now I am specifically thankful for the a/c I bought from my friends when they moved.

If it hadn't been for my pets I don't know if I'd have ever bought an a/c. I put off getting one for years. I told myself they were too much money and cost too much to run.... that I could get by with just fans... But then one of my pets got ill, and she wouldn't have been able to tolerate the heat. That was a no brainer. I bought an a/c immediately! Someone (who shall remain nameless) made a snarky comment to me at one point and said "So... you wouldn't get an air conditioner for yourself, but you got one for your pet?"

And I said, "For me it would have been a luxury. For her it was a matter of life or death."

-So uh... yeah :P

I wonder how long it would have taken me to buy one for myself if I'd never had pets?

By the way, did I mention that the a/c I got from my friends when they moved has a REMOTE! This is the very first time I've used it EVER and it's GREAT! I can lie in bed, NOT get up, and think "Eh... I think I'd like it a little cooler... no... maybe a little less cool.... *beep* *beep* *beep.*"

-I am so thankful for Air Conditioning.

Edit: The "energy saver" feature? Not going to work with me. Maybe if I were the type of person to leave the a/c on when I'm not home. But since I am home, having the unit turn itself on and off as the temperature goes up and down, is like living with a poltergeist.

Oh my gosh! I just remembered that when I was about 5, I had a nightmare about the Evil Queen from Snow White living in my air conditioner! Ok... SO not using this feature! :oO

...Only A Mother Could Love

HER

So if I get this new job it'll be more of what I like to do, but I won't have my own classroom because I'll be bringing my lessons into other people's classrooms.

ME

Good thing you didn't get another guinea pig for your class.

HER

I know.

ME

What about your other classroom pet? You know... the er... slugs.

HER

The silkworms?

ME

They're maggots.

Photo by: Wm Jas

HER

They're beautiful!

ME

They're Gagh.

HER

I love them!

ME

(*sigh*)

I know you do.

Photo by: Jason Gulledge

Guess What I Did NOT Get Today

A pigeon.

Thank you God for not giving me the pigeon.

I saw him as I was walking home, sitting on the ground alongside a building. Very still. All puffed up.

Still pigeon + sitting on the ground + clinging to a wall + all puffed up = Not good.

I stopped and considered getting him right then and there, but then decided I'd finish walking the half a block home, put down my bags, and then come back for him. All the while I prayed he'd be protected by "someone" (St. Francis?) and that he'd be ok and not drop kicked by some kids or eaten by a dog in the 5-10 minutes it'd take me to get back. All the while I prayed that he was really fine and would be nowhere in sight when I returned. All the while I prayed, very hard, that he was not "meant for me."

When I did walk back, I was afraid I'd see a half dead bird carcass and feathers everywhere, and I kept telling myself "if he was meant for me, he'll still be there." I really really really did NOT want a pigeon today. But I was ready to take the pigeon if needed.

When I returned he was still there. But he was no longer sitting. He was walking and eating.

Walking + eating = Good. Very good.

But he was still on the ground, not flying, and clinging to the side of the building. I approached him and he walked away. Also good. I followed him and he continued to walk away from me... more quickly. Again, good. Finally, I cornered him in a doorway and we had a little chat.

Baby pigeon. A little funny shaped but that didn't seem to be bothering him. Almost old enough to be on his own, but not quite yet. Possibly shoved out of the nest or abandoned. Almost full sized, but definitely still young. We talked a bit as I asked him whether or not he was ok. He didn't really answer. Then I reached down to get him and he panicked and flew a few feet to try to get away from me.

Good! Fine! Healthy! Buh bye! ;)

At least I hope. I think he could get away from danger if needed. Generally, if they're hard to catch, they're probably well enough to be on their own. I hope I was right and he's ok out there. But really, I am so glad to not have a pigeon in here with me right now.

5:09 AM: Birds Are Chirping

They have been for a while. Interestingly, I just received an email from the rehabber. It looks like she wrote it about a half an hour ago, so she's up. Makes sense. She has baby birds to feed. If baby birds are awake outside my window, they'd be awake at her place right about now too. She emailed to tell me the boxes arrived.

I mailed another package that same day. Someone had done me a huge favor so I'd sent her a few things as a thank you. She's in California, though, so I doubt that's arrived yet.

... sounds like the garbage trucks are outside too. Interesting company at 5am. Me, baby birds, wildlife rehabbers, and garbage men ;)

Blankets And T-Shirts And Needles Oh My!

I've just mailed two boxes of supplies to a wildlife rehabilitator I know, and will probably send another 2 boxes-worth once I can find actual boxes to put them in!

I called her a couple of weeks ago and went through a bunch of my spare supplies with her on the phone. I already had an idea of what she'd be able to use but I wanted to check before sending anything. When I have a lot to donate, she's a good person for me to start with because she networks with other animal shelters and rehabbers in her area and can distribute excess supplies that she can't use herself.

What types of things are good to send (or consider sending?)

Leftover Medical Supplies:

Some of these are day to day items, and some are items that might be left over after treating a sick pet or human.

• Medicines (human or animal, prescription or non) that are no longer needed but have not expired. I believe they can use them 6 months past their expiration date, but I'm not certain.
• Blood glucose monitors and supplies
• Lactated ringers (I know... you all have boxes of those lying around your house ;) )
  
• Unused sterile needles
• Eye droppers
• Syringes with no needles attached -All sizes. Especially small. (Used is ok if they're clean and you make it clear that they are not sterile. They'll be used for feeding.)
  
• Wee wee pads (the kind you use for pets or the kinds used in hospital beds)
  

Leftover Pet Items:

• (See the medical section above)
• Pet food that hasn't expired. Dog, cat, bird... anything.
• Plastic pet carriers
• Pet food bowls
• Hairball remedies
• Wee wee pads
  
• Specialty items for exotic pets if they shelter them, like ferrets, iguanas, hedgehogs, chinchillas, servals etc. including toys, pet water bottles, bedding, cages, treats. (Cages and toys are usually not needed for wildlife, but you can always ask.)
  

Leftover Baby Items:

• Cloth diapers
• Burp cloths
• Wee Wee pads (disposable or non)
• Baby oil
• Baby shampoo
• Baby wipes
• Baby food
• Esbilac or other milk/nutritional supplements
• Pedialyte or other electrolyte supplements

Toiletries:

• Tweezers
  
• Vasoline
• Rubbing alcohol
• Hydrogen peroxide
• Q-tips

Other Household Items:

• Anything that can be used for bedding like blankets, towels, old t-shirts... (I've just put aside several orphaned pillow cases I will probably never use. They'll go to her in the next round.)
• Electric blankets
• Food scales (good for weighing small animals)
• Blenders
• Dawn dishwashing liquid (Often used for removing grease from birds)
• Day to day supplies like paper towels, laundry detergent, trash bags, and cleaning products (ask which ones).
• Gift certificates: Grocery stores, hardware/houseware stores, pet stores, office supply stores...
  

Those are the obvious things. Obvious to me anyway. Beyond that, individual shelters or rehabbers might have more specific needs. Some might even need office items like a computer, printer, or a digital camera (particularly for shelters adopting out animals)... they all vary.

Spring brings in all kinds of baby wildlife (Birds, foxes, raccoons, deer, possums, squirrels... you name it!) It's one of the busiest times for shelters and wildlife rehabilitators. If you have a bunch of spare towels, t-shirts and blankets, some old medical supplies you can no longer use, or some pet food you thought your dog or cat would like that they HATED but you haven't thrown away "just because," consider calling a local shelter or rehabber and seeing if they could use it. Many of these people are volunteers and they could use all the help they can get.

PS: I checked Google to see if I could find an online list of common supplies used in rehabilitation and sheltering and didn't find a good one. But I did come across this article which interviews several of the rehabbers I know. It's funny this popped up because I wasn't searching for their names or for NY.

Pipi De Kitty

My room smells like cat pee. I do not have a cat. I think it may be coming from the air conditioner I bought from my neighbors yesterday. It's the only "new" thing in here.

They bought it from my neighbors before them and those neighbors had a cat with some kidney problems, so it's possible. I've never noticed their apartment smelling like cat pee, but their rooms are larger and have better ventilation.

I like this AC and I'd like to be able to keep it. It's bigger than my old one, works better, and it has a remote! I could adjust the temperature without getting up from my bed!

Later, I'll hit it with a bunch of sprays and run it for a while to see if that solves the problem. If not, I'll tell my neighbors. They're pretty great. I'm going to miss them when they move.

But just in case THIS is the day they finally get around to reading my blog... Dudes! The AC smells like cat pee!

EDIT: Then again... maybe there was just an angry cat outside my window? The smell is gone now. I don't think I got used to it. I think it's actually gone. So maybe a cat decided to relieve itself outside my window and the odor was coming through the air conditioner, but was not actually from the air conditioner. I hope that's what it was.

My old roommate told me a cat came through her window twice in the middle of the night. Coulda been him...

Pinto Akitas

19 month old girls

I'd never seen a Pinto Akita before. From a distance they looked like they were wearing snowsuits.

Crisis Averted (For Now)

For anyone behind in their reading, please make sure you read this post first. Then come back here for what I hope is the conclusion!

I think I found where they were entering the apartment. It looks like the floor around a pipe may have shifted over the years creating a gap that I hadn't noticed before. I plastered it closed yesterday morning and I'm hoping that will be the end of my uninvited visitors.

I considered etching a prayer against water bugs into the plaster, or possibly imbedding an image of an appropriate patron saint. My friend said I should have written a prayer on a piece of paper and plastered over that. I'm still considering her option (I can add another layer) but with my luck I'd discover that slips of paper attract water bugs. Or as my friend put it, I'd probably find out later that "Paper is like cake to roaches!" I still kind of like my patron saint idea, though I can just imagine future people in my bathroom looking down and saying "Is that.... Jesus?"

And MP... (Yes I'm calling you out here instead of in the comments! Lol!) I'm not sure you fully appreciate the far reaching monumental implications of an impending giant mutant alien roach invasion in a NYC apartment! ;) Two roaches don't scare me. I can "move on" from two roaches! Please... I eat roaches for breakfast! Ok no, I don't really do that, that would be gross... well... maybe not in some countries.... but... wait... what are we talking about? Oh... right! The POINT is, I don't have a problem with two roaches. Not even two "three-inch" roaches. I moved on from THREE giant mutant roaches with no problem. But when all evidence pointed to the most recent roaches being a scouting party that was gathering intelligence for what was to be a full scale home invasion...? THAT'S what freaked me out! That there were more, LOADS more on the way. Not one or two but dozens!!! -Not to mention the invitations that I'm sure had already been sent out to over 80 MILLION of their nearest and dearest friends! (Any New Yorkers who happen to read here today, please explain to people how an impending invasion by giant mutant nuclear-resistant cockroaches is practically grounds for a call to 911 in NYC! ;) )

Last night I slept much better (Though I still turned on every light whenever I walked around my apartment!) I really hope that was the source of their entry. I also really hope that nobody laid eggs while they were scoping out my apartment. I hate it when visitors spawn in my home. I don't spawn in theirs.

Water Bugs

Ok, I'm freaking out here folks! I have just seen my 2nd water bug in my apartment in two days! I've seen two others (one dead) in the past two weeks. Prior to that I'd only seen two during the entire thirteen years or so that I've lived here. So to see four this close together? There will be more! If you don't know what I'm talking about, think "cockroach the size of your thumb!" I won't post a picture because I don't want to give anyone nightmares! No, that's not entirely true. I don't want to give me nightmares. I've had enough images of them burnt into my retina over the past few days! These guys FREAK ME OUT!

No other roaches have appeared. The apartment is not dirty. Food is not left out, nor is water. Like I said, regular sized cockroaches have not suddenly shown up. Just the giant MUTANT ones from MARS!

I AM SO FREAKED OUT right now. (Have I used the phrase "freaked out" enough yet? Because I don't think it's possible for me to use it too much here!) I often walk around my apartment at night with no lights on if I just need to get from one room to another (bathroom, kitchen for a glass of water...) I'm afraid of my floors now. I'm afraid to lie down and go to bed! Though they weren't in my room, but they can walk! And fly! ACK!

And worse? I do NOT have time to take my home apart to figure out where they're coming from. I mean two in thirteen years? No biggie. But four in two weeks, and now two in two days!!!

I do not know WTF to do. Obviously I have to make time to find out what's happening but I don't know how or when, and I'm totally jumpy and wired right now. I'm afraid to put my earplugs in to go to sleep! I really am. You may think I'm kidding but I'm serious. I am jumpy and afraid to put my ear plugs in right now. Why? I don't know. Because then I can't hear them in those loud clunky shoes they wear right before they sneak up and into my bed?! (which has NEVER happened, and won't happen... OMG that can't happen!)

Ok, I'm going to try to breathe now... I realize that I'm freaking out (there's that phrase again!) over a small creature that is one gazillionth of my size, but do not underestimate the power of the giant mutant cockroach. Lest we forget, it can survive a nuclear war!

Having said all this, you'd never know I was afraid of them if you saw me in the same room with one. I am one of the calmest people on the planet during a crisis situation. I really am. I keep people calm, I keep people safe, and I get things done. If you're having a heart attack or an ax murderer just showed up at your door, I'm the person you want there with you. Really. Because I could probably get the ax murderer to give you CPR. -But once the crisis is over, if the ax murder's six legged relatives can still get into my apartment and scurry around on my floor, I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep that night!

So what do I do when I see the giant alien mutant cockroaches? I don't kill them, I don't smash them. I get my bug wand and try to safely capture them and carefully put them out the window. And by "carefully," I mean that I do everything humanly possible, while putting them out the window, to make sure that innocent pedestrians walking below do not suddenly have one of these things land on their head. I also try to explain to the cockroaches that they cannot come here, that this is unacceptable, and that they have to leave. -Again, you think I'm kidding? Sadly I'm not. The following conversation really took place about 8 years ago with a normal sized cockroach in my kitchen.

ME

Man, you'd better get out of here, because if my roommate sees you, you are going to be one dead cockroach.

Seriously. You need to leave. And take your friends with you. Or at least just stay hidden and out of our way. No. Don't come closer to me. You need to go back! No don't... -You really can't be here.

ROOMMATE
(Yelling from the other room)

OH MY GOD are you TALKING TO THEM???!!!

ME

Quick! RUN RUN!!!

* Edit: Update is here.

Meme #4: I Slept In My Car With A Squirrel

Earlier this week I was tagged with my first meme: "Share 7 random and/or weird things about yourself." This is a further explanation of #4 on my list.

My friend's suggestion: "You slept in your car with a squirrel."

Several years ago, as I was walking to my car, I passed a squirrel who was lunging at people. I originally thought he knew the woman he was lunging at because she seemed fairly calm and was laughing about it (nervous laughter). But it turned out that, luckily, although she'd never seen this squirrel, she wasn't afraid of him and that's why she hadn't hit him over the head with a shovel!

A small crowd gathered and I realized that this was going to be one dead squirrel if it kept "attacking" people desperately trying to get someone's attention. He wasn't trying to hurt or bite her, but the way he was relentlessly lunging and clinging to people, somebody was going to panic and kill it. He looked young. Maybe about half the size of a full grown squirrel. I hate taking animals out of their regular environment and away from their families, but even if this one's mother was still around, she clearly hadn't been able to care for him effectively. Squirrels behave this way when they're starving.

I told the crowd that if someone could find me a box or a sturdy bag I'd take him to a wildlife rehabilitator, but it had to be something that could be secured properly because I couldn't risk him getting loose in the car while I was driving. Finally it occurred to me to empty the contents of my knapsack into an empty plastic bag that someone had, and put the squirrel in my knapsack -which could be closed securely. We lured him in with food, closed the bag, and I started calling the wildlife rehabbers I knew.

I found a local rehabber that wasn't too far, but she couldn't take him until the following day. I was away from home, staying with a relative that week, and they made it very clear that there was no way in *&^%$#@! I was bringing a squirrel into their house. I told them it would be in a temporary cage and/or carrier and would be 100% secure. They still refused.

I drove to a friend's house who I knew had some spare cages and other supplies I could use for the night. They wouldn't let me bring the squirrel in either, but in their case it was because they'd had a squirrel infestation in their attic that they'd finally managed to control, and they were afraid to let the "scent of squirrel" anywhere near the insides of their house! But they did suggested that if I wasn't going to separate myself from the squirrel for the night (and they knew I wouldn't!), I could at least park in their driveway so I could use their bathroom if needed.

So that's what I did. I set the squirrel up in a cage with food and water, secured the cage with external clips, covered it with a towel, and slept in the car with the squirrel until I could take it to the rehabber the next day. Throughout the night I could hear him eating (best sound in the world) and could see him breathing through the rise and fall of my knapsack in the cage.

When the rehabber got "Jonesy" (her name for him, since he'd been found near Jones Beach) she said I'd been 100% right about him being young and starving, and she agreed that he would have died or been killed by someone if I'd left him there. I always have this moment with new rehabbers (new to me, not new to their jobs) where they question whether or not I know when to take and when to leave an animal, and whether or not they can trust my assessment of what's going on. The faster I can get past that stage with them the better.

"Jonesy" improved and was socialized into another group of squirrels she had (This rehabber specialized in squirrels). I met with her a month later and he was still doing well. As far as I know, his group was re-released into the wild several months later.

Out Of Town

I'm going out of town tomorrow. I'll reply to comments etc. when I return.

I wish you all a happy and healthy 2008.


Photo © Jeane Carley / The Ferret Company

Edit: Just editing this post to add that the photo above is by a very talented friend of mine who has been called "The Anne Geddes of ferret photography" ;) Click through the link to see more of her work.

Random Conversations From Today

FRIEND 1

I think I need botox. I want to get rid of these wrinkles on my forehead.

ME

You want more poison injected into your body in addition to the chemo? Why don't you just ask them to inject the chemo there? Poison is poison. It should do the same thing.

FRIEND 1

Oooh, good idea! I'll ask them to inject it right here!

(pointing between the eyes)

ME

I think this is a good plan.

FRIEND 2

I'm just going to do it on one ear first to see if she likes it.

ME

I don't think it's a good idea.

FRIEND 2

Really? But it would look so cute!

ME

I don't think you should krazy glue a bow to your dog's ear.

ME

No mom, you can't name your blog "Hottie." People will think it's a porn site.

MOM

Really? I don't want to do that. -What about "Young Hottie?"

ME

Porn site.

MOM

Lonely Hottie?

ME

I think you're missing the point...

MOM

American Hottie?

ME

How about "Old Hottie?"

MOM

Really?

ME

No!