Sharing The Love

Another long overdue award.

This really beautiful award was given to me by MP last year. Unfortunately, it was just around the time I had to go offline. I'm sorry it's taken so long to pass this on to all of you.

MP, thank you, so much for thinking of me. I was really touched when I saw my name on your list. (Kendra, and Storyteller, I still haven't forgotten yours either!)

The rules are as follows:

The "Sharing The Love" award was created by Memoirs of a Mommy, in honor of the heart donor that saved her son's life. She hopes that by passing this award around the blogosphere, everyone can help raise awareness of the need for organ donation.

"The rules of this award are: SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love, all the people who make you smile, all those who make you laugh, all those who make your day, all those who leave uplifting comments on your blog. **All I ask, is that you include a link to this post with the award and ask your recipients to do the same.**"

Once again, I'm giving this award to my "commenters." You are the people who make me smile, make me laugh, and make my day by leaving uplifting comments on this blog. To everyone who's left a comment for me in the past few months, thank you, again. I really do keep all of you in my heart, even though I'm not always here to express that.

• Vanessa
• Kendra
• Bayjb
  
• Nora
• Storyteller
• Grandy
• Tania
• Marcia
  
• Cammy
• Athena

Again, if I've missed anyone please forgive me. And once again, lurkers, please feel free to take one for yourselves. I can't check my stats at this time to try to identify you by name, but I know you're there, and I do appreciate that you regularly take the time to visit here and read.

I Love You THIS Much

I had a few moments and came straight here. I've pre-posted some more entries and answered comments through August (go take a look!). Hopefully I'll get to the rest sometime too. I'm not "back" yet.

Thank you to everybody who's still reading here. Your visits are so appreciate.

As a matter of fact... That makes me think of something else I can do right now...

Hillary gave me this award EONS ago (and as often happens, her timing couldn't have been more perfect) and I've been horribly delinquent in passing it on. (Kendra and MP, I haven't forgotten yours either!)

I'm giving this award to everyone who's commented here while I've been away:

• Vanessa
• MP
• Kendra
• Bayjb (Who'd BARELY started reading here when I left! -Thank you!)
• Abbie
• minijonb
• Alice
• Nora
• Storyteller
• Grandy
• Hillary (Yes I can give it back to you too! I've decided this so it must be true!)
• Joe
• Rebecca
• Angela
• Tania
• Deanna
• MLL (Err... Where's your blog Marcia? Lol!)
• Cammy (Hiya ;) )

-And the only lurkers I can identify:

• Athena
• LatteMommy -My "follower!" Thank you!
• Karyn -Who's been reading here since pretty much this blog began. -Thank you Karyn :)
  

If I've missed anyone please forgive me. I'm writing this at 4 am! Any other lurkers who've been reading here and not commenting, please take an award for yourself too. I'd mention you by name but I have no idea who you are! (*cough* Alberta/Calgary! *cough!*) ;)

Thank you again everybody. I am so grateful to you. I really do love all of you ♥THIS♥ much.

Legacy

ME

It's been almost a year. I originally put up the memorial site to get information to people about the funeral and benefit concerts. Most of that is done, or could be handled by a mailing at this point. I promised your sister I'd take the site down when it was no longer needed, but people are still visiting it.

HER

Still?

ME

People leave comments. The most recent was a week ago from someone who hadn't realized she'd died. Others return from time to time. I can see it in my stats.

HER

Leave it up. I'm glad it's there. Really. Even though I can't visit it.

ME

I know you can't.

HER

It's not because I don't like it.

ME

I know that.

HER

Someday I'll be able to. It's still too soon. But I want it there. I like knowing her site is there. Leave it up.

ME

Ok. But I may change the focus then, from information related to her death, to a celebration of her life.

HER

That's fine. Just one thing.

ME

What?

HER

Take that picture of her off the front page.

ME

I know. She hates it.

HER

OH MY GOD she HATES it.

ME

I know.

HER

She's screaming in my head!

ME

I know. She's been screaming at me since the day I put it up.

HER

SCREAMING! In my head!

ME

I know! You don't think I know? I told her it was the best picture I had of her and I'm sorry she thinks it's puffy-

HER

PUFFY!

ME

I know.

HER

You have to take it off.

ME

I would LOVE to take it off. I KNOW she hates it. She's been screaming at me too, since day one. But I need a better picture of her to put in its place. She's your sister! Send me a better picture!

HER

I have LOADS of pictures.

ME

Well SEND me some!

HER

I will! Just get that one off of there. I can't stand the screaming. You don't understand...

ME

I do-

HER

I'm telling you, I can hear her-

ME

I know.

HER

She's SCREAMING in my head!

ME

I know. She's been screaming at me too. BELIEVE me. I've been hearing it too.

HER

I didn't want to say anything to you. I thought it'd hurt your feelings.

ME

Me? No! I know she hates it! You don't think she'd tell me! My feelings aren't hurt at all.

(pause)

So what else haven't you told me that she hates about the site?

HER

Nothing.

ME

Nothing….

HER

Nope, that was it. Just that one picture.

ME

Really.

HER

Yes.

ME

There's nothing else she hates about the site that she's told you about?

HER

No.

ME

Nothing.

HER

Nothing!

ME

Ok…

(long pause)

-She hates the 4th picture too.

HER

I KNOW!!!!!!

"K" Knows Me Too Well

K

Melissa's ready to keel over. I should get her home before she falls asleep.

T

Why do you think that? Because she's staring, motionless, into space?

K

No. Because she stopped talking.

Determination

Phone call with a friend

ME

"Good boy!"

HER

Who are you talking to?

ME

Sparky.

HER

He's out?!

ME

Yes and it's the first time he's kicked his ball in over an hour. He keeps missing it. Then he gets upset.

HER

I'm so glad he's out!

ME

Yeah, it's been a while. -"I'm here. Turn around."

HER

What was that?

ME

He called my name.

HER

He knows your name?

ME

Yes. When he gets into trouble or he thinks I've left the room, he calls me.

HER

What's he doing now?

ME

(Sigh) Trying to shake hands with a box.

Toilet Talk

I have a family member who has a phone installed in their bathroom. I'm not talking about a cordless phone that they bring into the bathroom from time to time. I'm talking about a corded phone that they installed right there, next to the toilet, screwed into the wall. -Wires running to it and everything.

I think this gives me carte blanche to talk to them while I'm in the bathroom without feeling any shame or guilt whatsoever. I'm supposed to be worried about talking in the bathroom to the person who has a phone installed in theirs?

I'm quite clear about this too. I tell them "I'm about to go to the bathroom while we're talking and I'm not the least bit embarrassed because you have a phone installed in yours!"

There's only one other person I'll do this with, and that's a friend who once had a vomiting extravaganza while we were on the phone together. And let me tell you, hearing somebody vomit into a toilet, over the phone, is far worse than any other bathroom sounds one might hear. She was sick, she was stressed, and she brought me (via phone) into the bathroom with her while she threw up, and I continued to listen to her, and talk to her for over an hour, all the while trying to ascertain whether or not she'd passed out yet and a call to 911 or a family member was in order.

As a result, I also have absolutely no problem saying to her "I'm going into the bathroom right now, and you're coming with me, and don't even start with me because you once spent over an hour puking on the phone with me!"

Everybody else in the world, is safe. ...Except companies that put me on hold for long periods of time. There has been a time or two when I had to cover the speaker, flush the toilet, and run out of the bathroom before they could hear.

BUT everybody ELSE in the world is safe from conversations with me in the bathroom. Really!

No really!

What?!

I'm On Bossy!

Well sort of... Can you spot me?


Photo Collage from IAmBossy.com







How many of you got the hint? Yup that's right. This is me :)

Seriously. That's the picture I submitted of myself for her collage. And I'm right above what appears to be the oh so cute Pete! (aka Fiddley Gomme) -Who by the way, is NOT a girl!

She thinks we're cute! (anybody else hearing Rudolph in their head?)

I'm so proud.

You may bow.

PS: I tried to find another word for "Cute" since it's used THREE TIMES above, so I looked it up in my thesaurus, and one of the words it offered was "Twee." -"Twee???" As in what? "I'm this many?" or "I'm going to go cwimb it now?"

Fairway Flashback

If you weren't reading my blog back in December, you should click through the links to get the back story on this. If you were reading here in December, you might want to click through again anyway just to refresh your memory.

This morning I was supposed to go to Fairway with my friend. I got up, got dressed, and waited... nothing. We had to move her car before the street cleaners came (the whole point is to go grocery shopping during street cleaning hours and be back in time for another parking space), so I called her. No answer. I left a message, waited a few more minutes, then called her other phone. Nothing. Waited a bit more. Walked to her apartment and knocked on the door a few times -while telling the dog in the apartment across the way to calm down and stop barking at me. No answer.

So I went back to my apartment, took off my hat, sunglasses, and bag, and was debating going back to bed when my cell phone rang. It was my friend. She'd overslept. Could I please get the car while she threw on some clothes. Sure. -Except now I couldn't find my keys. The keys I'd JUST used to get into the apartment? By the time I found my keys, which was not too long (they were in my bag), she was at my door with the keys to her car (we're in the same building.)

I walked to her car and the entire street was empty -except for her car. I could already tell by the looks of every single person who walked past and stared at her windshield, that there was a bright orange parking ticket waiting there. Luckily, she'd been spared the neon green sticker.

Everyone stared as I approached the car, took the ticket off the windshield, opened the door, and got in. Not just the passersby but an entire line of teachers and school children who were waiting right next to it for instructions or a head count or "something" before they could proceed to wherever it was they were going. I was very tempted to tell every single person in line that "This is not my car. It's not my car. This car? It's not mine. Even though I'm getting in it and I have the keys and it looks like this is my car, it's not my car. I didn't get a $50 ticket for being 10 minutes late. I've been up for an hour!" -Like they'd care!?

My friend was ready about 10 minutes later, and we went to Fairway. They hadn't re-arranged it since the last time I wrote about it, so everything was still in the same place it was before. The cold room was still cold (awesome) and the tampons were still in the pasta section (???).

As we left the store I glanced towards the construction they're doing by the edge of the river. They're building a park with tables and benches and I think some kind of cafe. My friend told me I'm not allowed to look because I think it's a dumb idea. She thinks it's going to be beautiful and can't wait to sit by the water sipping cappuccinos. I think it's going to be beautiful and a great place to dump bodies.

When we got back, we found a parking space, and "Art" was there. Except now I can't remember his real name. I keep wanting to call him "Art," but that would be wrong. I almost mentioned this to my friend but decided not to. The last time I made fun of her she got a little insecure.

HER

If you write about me on your blog, I'm going to log in and leave a comment that says "Your friend sounds highly intelligent. And very attractive."

ME

And I will say "Yes, she is. And she's available."

HER

Oh. Ok. You can write about me then.

My Remains

My friend and I once had a very long series of emails discussing what should be done with my remains (Don't ask. -Ok short version, I was very sick, needed surgery, thought I was going to die.) Among other things, I told her that I wanted to be cremated, I wanted my ashes mixed with my pets' ashes, and I wanted all of us to be put into something plain, simple, and silver colored-ish. Like a thermos.

From our emails

ME

Ultimately, I'm not sure if it'd be better to be buried in the container, or buried loose, or scattered. I don't want to be scattered over an ocean though. That would separate all of us [my ashes from my pets' ashes.] And I don't want to be dropped in there as a container either so we wash up on a beach as someone's found treasure. Maybe if we made good fertilizer...maybe a garden. My ferrets would like that. But I don't want to get raked away the next year! -Oh and I don't want to be sent into space. Don't shoot us into space! As cool as that might be in theory, I'm afraid someone would find us or that somehow our molecules would go through a black hole and be re-integrated, and we'd come back as some kind of deformed, very unhappy, multi-headed human/ferret hybrid. And no cryogenics. For one thing, I wouldn't be able to be with my pets then.

(You're saving this email right?)

J

_I_ want to be shot out into space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, first any of my useful bits can be used for science or donated or whatever.

ME

Does your husband know? If I have the money I'll shoot you into space!

J

It's kind of cheap actually. Well, if you let the Russians do it that is. They cremate you and seal you in a little capsule thing and launch you with any trash they purge from the space station. Kind of an odd concept but hey, it's space!

There is also a Japanese group that launches ashes for a bit more. They do it for about $5000 (about the cost of the typical funeral). It is very respectful and all that. They showed it on tv the other day.

ME

I'm making a note in my PDA... "Shoot J into space with Russian Garbage."

J

Re: The Cryogenics: What if we just preserve your head and pack your ferrets and the rest of your ashes in the container with it for the future to fix?

ME

Tempting, but no, I don't think so. I don't trust people in the future not to screw up. Besides, you'll be out in space. Who will I talk to when I'm reanimated? ;)

J

I still think we should freeze your head.

ME

If I wake up as a head sometime in the future, I am going to grab a vacuum, go into space, and suck your ashes back down here! :P

Conversation With LL

Conversation between me
and my 102 year old neighbor

ME

How is it that you still have so much dark hair?

LL

What do you mean?

ME

You're 102 years old and you're barely 50% gray.

LL

On half of my head?

ME

No, not on half of your head. Throughout.

LL

Really?

ME

Yes.

LL

What color is the rest?

ME

Black.

LL

I didn't know I still had black hair. Is it pretty?

ME

Of course.

LATER

LL

If I could still see, I'd go out for walks, I'd cook... I cooked all the time. I am an excellent cook.

ME

And then you taught your daughter.

LL

My daughter can't cook.

ME

Your daughter's a great cook!

LL

Ok, she can cook, but not like me. She has her recipes, I have mine.

ME

Speaking of cooking, are you sure you don't want anything to eat?

LL

I'm not hungry. I ate a big breakfast.

ME

What did you eat.

LL

Potatoes and bread.

ME

Potatoes and bread. That's it?

LL

Yes it was very filling. And coffee with milk and sugar.

ME

But that's it? What about protein.

LL

What do I need protein for?

ME

So you can grow big and strong.

Martianwear

I'm supposed to meet a friend at Mars 2112 in an hour and a half, and I'm trying to figure out what to wear, and because it's so hot, I've decided that the perfect thing to wear would be NOTHING. But since I don't want my next meal to be in prison, I'll continue to look for something -Just as soon as I finish procrastinating writing in this blog.

Everything I own seems to have gotten a little bit tighter this week, and I can't imagine why. It can't possibly have anything to do with all the crap I've been eating. (And we all know I'm not carrying the Messiah!)

I feel a summer shopping trip coming on. I do not enjoy shopping. I can never find anything in my size. "My size" being something that fits and makes me look 20 pounds lighter. I'd shop on Mars, but all their residents have extra appendages.

Will Work For Swedish Meatballs

I just assembled some Ikea furniture for my neighbor. Actually, I disassembled everything that her husband and the Super assembled, and then I reassembled it... the right way. Amazingly, when I did it, it didn't look anything like a cross between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and a stack of cards on the verge of collapse.

What is it about people and Ikea? I know there are people who don't like Ikea and claim that the quality of their products is poor, but that's never been my experience. I mean of course there's sturdier furniture out there, and furniture that's more aesthetically pleasing to some people, but for basic simple bookcases and cabinets, Ikea is pretty darned good in my book.

And the instructions? Why can't people follow Ikea instructions? I know part of the reason is because some people (*cough* the-Super-and-my-neighbor's-husband *cough*) would never dream of looking at an instruction manual for anything, but really what is the problem? It's pictures! There's no language barrier excuse here. All you have to do is follow the pictures!

Now, I know there are people who even have trouble following pictures, because they don't have the kind of thought process that distinguishes between "a plank of wood with six holes" and "a plank of wood with 5 holes." Seriously, there are people who miss details like that, even when they're trying really hard to concentrate. But you know what? Those people should CALL SOMEONE and say "Hi, I suck at this. Can you come over please?" Because really what's worse? Admitting that you can't follow pictures, or having two cabinets fall on your head?

If you could have seen the job these guys did... there was packaging everywhere, gaps between the sides and the backs of the cabinets they assembled, screws in the wrong places... and all the while my neighbor and her friend are going on and on and on about how Ikea makes poor quality furniture, and they're returning it, and there must be pieces missing, and it's flimsy and unstable, and you get what you pay for, and blah blah blah blah... when really, I would agree with the last two points, but only insofar as they apply to THE PEOPLE WHO ASSEMBLED THE FURNITURE!

Meanwhile, the whole time I was re-assembling it, they (the women!) who were all worked up and stressed out by this point, were leaning over me and yelling at telling me to put this there or that there, or "look there's extra screws, we can use these instead," and "the instructions are wrong," and "here are the extra screws. Did you see these? You should use these! Here!" And I kept telling them, "I'm just going to try it this way first, and then I can try what you're saying. But first I'm going to try this." (Where "this" would be "WHAT THE INSTRUCTIONS SAID.")

Needless to say, my neighbor now has two very sturdy cabinets, with doors, handles, and shelves, and she is extremely happy with them and thinks they're the best things on earth.

And me? I have two new bags of Ikea meatballs.

Repurposing

A Phone Call

HER

I'm sorry I'm calling so late. Would you believe we JUST got back from the beauty salon?

ME

Yes.

HER

It was great! E got her hair lightened so it looks the way it does in the summer, and I got highlights put in, and they even did the hair on my chin and made eyebrows for me!

ME

They made eyebrows out of your chin hair?

...Only A Mother Could Love

HER

So if I get this new job it'll be more of what I like to do, but I won't have my own classroom because I'll be bringing my lessons into other people's classrooms.

ME

Good thing you didn't get another guinea pig for your class.

HER

I know.

ME

What about your other classroom pet? You know... the er... slugs.

HER

The silkworms?

ME

They're maggots.

Photo by: Wm Jas

HER

They're beautiful!

ME

They're Gagh.

HER

I love them!

ME

(*sigh*)

I know you do.

Photo by: Jason Gulledge

A Fish By Any Other Name...

At Dinner

HER

I think I'm going to get the Monk Fish.

ME

Oh. You're getting a "Fish Creation."

HER

A what?

ME

A "Fish Creation." See...? That's what they call that section of the menu. Not "Seafood" but "Fish Creations." Frankly, that made me a bit nervous.

LATER

ME

How's your Fish Creation?

HER

Good. But I'm a little disappointed in the shrimp. They only gave me three.

ME

Well that's because it doesn't come with shrimp.

HER

It doesn't?

ME

No. The menu said it comes with "shrimp essence."

HER

Shrimp "essence?" Like they wave the shrimp over the dish a few times?

ME

Yeah. Or they took a little bit of shrimp and squeezed it over the top like a lemon to give you its "essence."

HER

Well, it was still a good dish. I'd come back for it again. And I'm telling myself that, because it's seafood, it was healthy. -And I'm ignoring the fact that it was doused in tons of butter.

ME

Think of it as dairy. Dairy is healthy. -It's calcium.

HER

Calcium! I need calcium!

ME

I know!

HER

I had seafood for dinner with calcium.

(pause)

Lots and lots and LOTS of calcium.

If I Had The Time Or Energy To Write...

If I had the time or energy to write, I would tell you about conversations I had this past week about:

• Suicide,
• Deaths in families,
• The witness protection program,
• And the damage that secrets can cause to the "secret holders."
• I would tell you about a conversation I had with a psychic. Not a reading, but about her, and her being a psychic.
  
• About a homeless man I talked to for a few blocks as I walked home the other night.
  
• And about how, the other day, I approached the toughest looking guy I could find to ask directions somewhere, because I figured he'd know the neighborhood best -and he did. He also, it turned out, had a really nice smile.

If I had the time or energy to write, I'd tell you about:

• The sudden increase in 9/11 dreams I had (I usually have one every two months.)
• The invitation I had on the fourth night of those dreams to attend an event at ground zero.
• How I declined (because of the dreams).
  
• How less than a week later I was having dinner with someone who was in the Pentagon when the plane hit.
  

(9/11 is something I pretty much never discuss with anyone.)


If I had the time or energy to write, I'd tell you about:

• My friend's show.
• About another show where a producer stood up to a writer and did the right thing.
• About honesty and integrity in business dealings, because those dealings are with people who deserve nothing less.
  
• About another project where a young film editor is ready to leave due to a director's disorganization.
• About a family of six singing a cappella gospel in the subway.

If I had the time or energy to write, I'd tell you about:

• My friends' combination birthday/farewell party,
• Where we all "sang" happy birthday on kazoos,
• And about the surprise wedding they sprung on us, right then and there, with no advanced warning. (The couple knew about it, but not the guests.)
  
• How I suspected that for over an hour, since the SECOND I saw them, and how every signal in my brain was yelling "This is a wedding" and I told myself that wasn't logical. (Nobody else suspected a thing. Not even a proposal.)

If I had the time or energy to write, I'd tell you about:

• My failed attempt at cooking liver.
  
• About a decorative bowl and broom.
  
• About certain people who've been on my mind constantly these past 2 weeks.
  
• About trying to get more time with my parents before they, or I, pass away.
• About the construction noises that have started every morning this week at 7:30 AM sharp DIRECTLY UNDER MY BED, and the hammering and drilling that is continuing even now, (about 4 feet to my left and 2 feet down) and how it's echoing in the halls and shaking the floors of my building.
  

I would tell you about all of these things, but honestly, I'm tired. And for about half of these things, if I went into any more detail, I'd probably have to kill you, -And I really don't have the energy for that right now either! ;)

Who Makes Themselves OLDER???

A number of years ago, I somehow forgot how old I was. Or, more specifically, I thought I was turning a year older than I really was. A friend caught this a few days before my birthday and said "Uh Melissa, that's not how old you're turning."

I said, "Yes it is."

And she said "No it's not. We're the same age. You are not a year older than me." And then she counted out the years with me over the phone as we did the math and realized that she was RIGHT!

It was so bizarre. I'm not sure how or why that happened but she's never let me forget it. Every year when she calls to wish me a happy birthday, she ends with, "And just in case you've forgotten how old you are..."

This year, she got me a little early and left a message reminding me how old I'll be tomorrow. I laughed and thought "Ah ha! I've GOT HER!" Because she was wrong! I was about to call her back to make fun of her and say "Are you sure about that?" when a little voice inside me said "Am I sure about that? I'd better be 100% sure before I call her!"

So I did the math, SEVERAL times, and you know what? She's RIGHT! I did it AGAIN!

I'm trying to figure out at what point this past year I decided I was a year older than I really am. I know it's been at least several months. This time I think I know why it happened, but I'm still not sure of when! I kind of feel like I've been gipped out of being younger for part of this year! I got older way before I needed to!

I cannot believe I did this again!

A-GAIN!

As I was about to post this, I thought I'd Google to see if anybody else has done this, and much to my amazement, I am not the only one! I feel so much better about this right now! Lol! Thank you Google!

A few of the links I found:

• She thought she was a year older -TWICE! Like me!
• He thought he was a year older
• So did this person

5:09 AM: Birds Are Chirping

They have been for a while. Interestingly, I just received an email from the rehabber. It looks like she wrote it about a half an hour ago, so she's up. Makes sense. She has baby birds to feed. If baby birds are awake outside my window, they'd be awake at her place right about now too. She emailed to tell me the boxes arrived.

I mailed another package that same day. Someone had done me a huge favor so I'd sent her a few things as a thank you. She's in California, though, so I doubt that's arrived yet.

... sounds like the garbage trucks are outside too. Interesting company at 5am. Me, baby birds, wildlife rehabbers, and garbage men ;)

Waiting...

Today has been a day of waiting. Waiting for emails, waiting for phone calls. Pretty much not leaving my desk or that area, so I could be sure I wouldn't miss them.

The emails came in. This is good. I am still waiting on two of the phone calls. One might not call until tomorrow. The other I'm not sure about. Nothing particularly pertinent to me (I'm not waiting to hear if I won the lotto or anything ;) ) but I told them I'd be here, and I don't go back on promises. So I will be up.

-And as long as I'm up, I may write. Because I'm really waay too tired to do much of anything else. So welcome to the first hour of "MeBloPoNi" (Melissa Blog Posting Night ;) )

I'm hoping this will be the ONLY post of MeBloPoNi, but ya never know... I'll see you all later if I'm still up!

Rawkin' Bloggin' Noggin' Award

Grandy gave me this award last week.

I was only JUST able to find and pick it up yesterday!

Thank you Grandy! You rawk too! :)