Friday, May 23, 2008

Everyone Should Have At Least One Retarded Friend

GIRL AT BUS STOP
Are you an art teacher?

ME
No. What made you think I'm an art teacher? Is it because I'm wearing a long raincoat that looks kind of like a smock?

GIRL AT BUS STOP
And because of your hair and the color.

MAN
(As we board the bus)
She asked me if I was a lawyer.

ME
Did you ask her why?

MAN
(Shrugs and smiles.)

Once I was on the bus, I looked down to reach into my pocket and, for the first time since I'd left the apartment, I had a good view of my raincoat. There was a HUGE stain on it -all the way down the front. The kind of stain that might look like a shadow if the coat were hanging so that creases formed, but when the coat was being worn and was nice and FLAT, in direct outdoor lighting, it looked nothing like a shadow. It looked like a HUGE STAIN! I opened my coat for the duration of the trip so it could crease a bit and restore the "Stain? What stain? That's a shadow!" look.

This is what I like about developmentally disabled adults. Especially the young adults. They won't stare at you and pretend there's nothing wrong with your clothes. With absolutely no malice (and that's the best part, there's no malice), they will look you straight in the eye and say "Are you an art teacher?" -Which in this case was another way of saying "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Does your mamma know you left the house like that?"

-Everyone should have at least one person like this in their lives.

 

5 Comments:

Abbie said...

lol, I love how brutally honest they are. Makes life fun and uninhibited.

mysecondjournal said...

I know exactly what you mean. It's so easy to sensor ourselves TOO much at times.

Vanessa said...

The NO MALICE part is the best.

Alice said...

you can't spell malice with alice, you know.

Melissa said...

abbie: Me too.

msc: (how's that for my new nickname for you?) My friends know not to ask for my opinion unless they really want it. I'm kind but I am very honest. The closest I get to not being honest, is to hold back on some things, but I will not lie to people.

Vanessa: It is! It's completely honest with no malintent whatsoever.

alice: Can I spell that with Melissa...? Er... nope! :)